“So sing for the friend who left you before he ever had a clue. Sing for the girl or boy that’s standing right now next to you. ‘Cuz I have a feeling it all evens out. At the very end of your life you’re gonna sit down at the table, you’re gonna shuffle out the good and the bad. And it’s all gonna make perfect sense to you when you figure out the accounting books come up completely even. And then you’re gonna ask, "So, what was it all for?” and they’re gonna say “Well, you did it, didn’t you?” So, sing along with me if you will. It’s not an option. And don’t stop no matter what happens.“
– John Clayton Mayer
It’s a crying shame and you’ve changed so, so fast.
And every ounce of sympathy won’t make this last.
Just so you know, what you’re doing, it’s insulting.
And demeaning. To everything we’ve put into this.
All this time, all the love, all your tears. I was there.
This past year. It’s a shame you forgot so, so easily.
Just so you know.
“Who’s gonna rescue me from myself if you leave?
Oh, please believe me when I tell you I’m sorry.
You’re everything I need all at once to be at peace,
With the slow dying watching what I love disappearing.
Oh, please believe me when I tell you I’m sorry.”
If you asked me what I would consider my goals in life are, what my life revolves around, what do I strive to make for and of myself, typically, you’d get some flush answer about music and how art makes my world turn - which is true, please don’t misconstrue this. But the truth is that for the last year or so, my life has revolved around one person.
If there is one thing that this Tumblr account allows me to do it is to is let me be completely honest. No bull. Things I can’t can’t write on Facebook or a Twitter post, things I won’t divulge to you from up on stage. Things I may not be able to convey as best as I’d like to be able to when we’re having our heart-to-heart, driving around in my ‘95 Buick LeSabre, drinking Arnold Palmer’s, listening to a Rocky Votolato record.
I’ve learned a great deal about myself in this past year. I’ve made new companions, climbed new heights. I took risks that I was unsure of the outcome. And I felt love’s grace for the second time.
I gave all of myself to this one person. We did so much together. And when we were not together, everything I did was done with her in mind. So what do you do when you’ve given everything to someone who can’t be there anymore?
That’s the question I’m toying with today.
It’s gonna take some time.
- C