September has come and passed. I have nearly completed my first month as a first semester college student. This is not a landmark for me. It’s more of a monumental breaking point. In the past few weeks, I’ve gotten to experience a lot of the infantile stages of a college student. I’ve met new people. Really nice, new people. I go to a school with an esteemed reputation for its programs and its alumni. I live 25 minutes from a city that is the mecca and the hub of the cultural world. You could say I’ve got it all mapped out. I’ve got some big plan up my sleeve. And I’m just going to surprise everyone one day. The truth is, this wasn’t what I asked for. I thought it was, but its not. I know what I feel is real and I know that given the chance, I could flag it down and wrestle with it for a while, hopefully coming back with the prize between my teeth and an accomplished look in my face. The truth is, I don’t have it all planned out. And it scares the hell out of me and excites me at the same time. There is a certain comfort in conformity but that only lasts so long. Call it cliche. Call me presumptuous. Tell me I’m a dime a dozen. Call it what you will, but I have a purpose. There is a reason for me. There is a reason I’m up at 4 AM while everyone is tucked in and sound asleep in their bunks, but I’m awake typing this to probably no one. At the same time I’m heavily dreaming. I don’t want to say I’ve lost myself for a bit, but more like I gave myself a shot. I didn’t have big faith in it but that’s what made this an experiment. I baited the hook, threw it out there and waited for a bite. Now, I’m reeling in. I’ve done a lot of self examination and I finally hear it clearly in my head as if it were my own mother’s voice, telling me “Corey, you’re a performer”. And that’s what I am. I am songwriter. A singer. A dreamer with bigger dreams than you could imagine. I stepped away from it for a while. I tried to conform. Not conform in the sense that I stopped believing in my dream, but to see if I could fit my dream in with this so-called lifestyle. Truth is, this dream is too big to just be squeezed into a schedule with a time frame. It just doesn’t work that way. This dream is life. The life I was born to live and the shoes I was sized up to fill. I just need to slip ‘em on. Everything else is just secondary. What I’m trying to say is I miss it and I can’t do this anymore. The stage is where I live and I’m homesick. So, I’m going to ask you..
Can I, please, come home?
Cor
In the past week, I’ve faced a lot of change. I packed up my necessities and moved to a new home. This new residence is the Crossroads res. hall @ SUNY Purchase. I’ve been making new friends and learning from a different living environment. For those who know me well enough, I’m not the craziest about formal education. But we’ll see where this takes me. This has been a huge transition from my near care-free Summer life on Long Island, NY. I am still so focused on writing and marketing myself, thus clarifying that this will not hinder my life as a singer-songwriter at all. Please frequent this blog for all unfiltered dirt coming straight from the horses mouth.
I love all of you. Thank you so much for the support.
Cor
This is a short clip from a song I’ve been working on called “Virginia”. It’s just a demo so spare me on the quality of the recording (& the fake drums). I should be wrapping up this song in the next few weeks. It’s still got some kinks. It’s different in the sense that it is one of the more poppy songs I’ve written with a big, deep meaning behind it. I’m just mixin’ and matchin’.
I am officially home from the first leg of my first tour ever. It didn’t feel long, because it wasn’t long. Yet, everyone is asking questions like I’ve been gone for years and I’m just supposing that shows that they care where the hell I’ve been. Which is great! :)
I missed home. I missed everyone. I find it hard now to say that all I need in this life are my music and my best friends. Aside from not having my family on the road, I noticed I was lacking so much and having some homesick thoughts deep inside. Being on the road helped me realize how much I do love Long Island, no matter how much I’ve bashed it in the past. I missed my bed and my hot bedroom with no AC. But at the same time, I miss open highways and the hotel soirees with my band.
I’m ready to start looking forward to the future. I feel that I’ve been walking on very uneven, uncertain ground lately as a songwriter. Almost like a balance beam or shattered ice across an arctic tundra. I think that it is my mind telling me not that I am unbalanced but more that I am afraid to slip and fall. That is weird, since the last song I wrote was “Don’t Let Me Fall”. I’m going to stop treating my approaching lifestyle as a college student like a curse. Lots of successful and famous people attended college, especially the one I’m going to. I leave in about 18 days but I’m going to keep my head up. I’ve got my best friend as one of my roommates and I really shouldn’t complain about that.
Although I’m looking to the future, I’m going to try and not worry about it too much. I’ve decided that I’m going to live my life in the “now”, day by day. Not the past. Not the future. I’m going to stop worrying about college holding me back in the future and worrying about life ahead on the road as a musician. I’m going to turn the focus off writing about the past. There are some painful and happy memories back there. Right now, they need to stay back there. I’m saving ‘em for another time. “September” was all about my past. “Right now” is about “Corey - now”. I kind of want to be ambiguous about my writing. Not vague, but no specific theme or focus on what I’m writing about collectively. Just write.
Dan Young from This Providence texted me tonight. He wants to hear the “September” EP. I hope he likes it! At the very least, I hope he’ll critique it and give me some good feedback. He is a brilliant songwriter!
So, that’s where I am now in my life. On this day. August 10th, 2009 @ 9:56 PM. I’m going to leave you with a quote from Dan’s blog that I read tonight which I am totally identifying myself with currently.
“It’s good to anticipate things, but not to the point where you neglect to appreciate the here and now.” - Dan Young
Cor
We are on the road to Pennsylvania. But where to begin? On Thursday morning, I woke up anticipating these next few days. My neighbor, Bill, kindly agreed to let my band and I use his 1999 Chevy AstroVan for tour. It has well over 250,000 miles on it, a passenger seat window that doesn’t roll down, a door that doesn’t open, a dented sliding door that needs some extra lovin’ shoulder push to open, no right side view mirror, a cracked windshield, a radio that doesn’t technically work, a broken fuel gauge and hardly enough room for five 18 year old guys to cram guitars, amps, drums, merch, two cases of Arnold Palmer and themselves into. I brought Ross along to sell our merchandise at the venues. Our first stop was Cafe Arabica in Hackensack, NJ. The show was so-so. But the night was incredible. We had the chance to meet up with some old friends we had made in June when we played with Ryan Cabrera in Allentown, PA. Joey D’anna and Jon Gambino were the two guys who we met there. They wound up coming back to the hotel room 20 minutes from the venue in Wayne, NJ. We sang and laughed and played guitar ‘til 4 A.M. The guys and I planned on making a 9 A.M. ETD so we could make it up to our next show at Knapp’s Underground in Bennington, VT with time to kill. I knew before I opened my eyes this morning that we had missed that early morning goal when I heard Mike Romano roll over in bed and say, “Well, so much for leaving at 9.” It was almost 11. We rushed around, crammed into the van again and started the 225+ mile trek to Bennington. I had been driving this whole tour thus far. The miles went fast. Ross was my co-pilot. We got up there at about 3:30. Immediately, Ross and I saw what others may see as a dusty used book store as a treasure chest filled with hours of fun possibilities only sent from the heavens above. Bennington is a small town. Essentially, everything the town offered was located on Main St. - from the venue to where we ate lunch to where the hotels we were planning on checking out. After a hearty hoagie lunch at the local brewery, Ross and I ventured over to that used bookstore. Inside, we split up for a good hour, panning rows of dusty shelves and cranking our necks so we could read the vertical titles. I wound up leaving with a copy of selected pieces by Earnest Hemingway. The show wound up being fun and we made some new friends. Our set sounded tight. But the small town lifestyle was not cutting it for us. We decided not to stay in Bennington and we hit the road by 11:30 P.M., but not before we had a run in with a local police officer. One thing you ought to know about Bennington is that they LOVE moose. There were moose statues EVERYWHERE in Bennington. On our way out, the band and I hopped on top of one and posed while Ross snapped a picture. A local police officer pulled up, got out of his car and kindly said, “Can’t have you sittin’ on the moose, boys.” We apologized and he clarified that he didn’t think we were any trouble once he saw that it was just a photo op. He also proceeded to point out that I was far too clean cut looking to be any real trouble. Thanks, officer. So, we packed into the van and began heading to Albany. The streets of downtown Albany were desolate by 1 A.M. with the exception of a few bars. We didn’t spend much time in Albany at all. By 1:30, we all agreed that it was best to begin driving straight through the night to Bloomsburg, PA, where we’ll be playing in about 16 hours. Ross took over driving. I’m sitting co-pilot. Mike Curley’s feet smell. Everyone’s quiet or sleeping. It’s now 3:30 and we’re about to hit the PA border. I love music. I love my band. I love my best bud. I love life on the road.
Cor
Current song: “Vultures” by John Mayer
Tomorrow, I embark on probably the longest, most adventurous consecutive days of my life thus far. Tomorrow, I will have my guitar(s), equipment, clothes, best friend Ross and, most importantly, my band packed into a van and we will be hitting the open road on my first OFFICIAL tour. I couldn’t be happier. My band is the most important aspect to me as a songwriter. I would literally be crap without them. I love them all collectively and individually. I want to also take this time to express my gratitude to my friends and family for their unwavering support. Tonight, I looked out in the crowd and saw a familiar face - my mother. Every show, she’s there. Front and center. Singing and bobbing along to the songs of mine she is oh, so familiar with. She loves it. And she’s proud of me. And I love her. She is the greatest mom, ever. I’m sorry if you’re reading this and disagree, but - seriously - yo mama just don’t compare! She won’t be able to come on the road with us. I’m a big boy now and big boys don’t cry - or bring their mom on tour. But all kidding aside, all I could think of was, “Damn, I’m gonna miss that on the road.” She honestly deserves like a holiday or a cuddle for being so freakin’ supportive. On a more solemn note, my grandfather is in the hospital. I won’t go into detail about anything but, I ask you to please keep him in your thoughts.
On a more happy note, tomorrow we will be in Hackensack, NJ. The first official night of tour. Tonight was the tour kick off show here at the Vibe Lounge. I’m gonna miss you, Long Island, but it’s time for me to spread my wings and fly away for a bit. I’ll be back.
Cor
Sometime around 3:30 AM, I started working on a new song. It was so pleasantly unexpected. I love the feeling when a new song idea hits me and I find myself scrambling around for paper and a writing implement. This song is fitting together, at least lyrically, like puzzle pieces. I feel like I’m not going to know exactly what it’s all about ‘til I paste in the last sentence of the final draft and step back to observe it. That’s when I’ll get it. It’s like my mind is on ghostwriter. I didn’t begin writing this song from the first line, like I normally would. I started with little tidbit lines that were catchy. Pretty much the hook line(s) of the song were written down first. It’s exciting. But I took a break from it because I noticed I was forcing out lines again and I wanna wait it out for the next good line to come to me. I would rather wait two years for that next line rather then force out a line that is devoid of substance just to fill the empty space in the lyrical structure. That’s the thing about being a writer, a poet, a songwriter, etc. you have to be brutally honest with yourself and say, “C'mon, man, you can think of a better line than that..” It is so easy to just scribble anything down but it is the true and honest verse that will give your writing that sparkle that you can identify yourself with to make you the author.
Today is August 4th, 2009: Officially one of my last days home for the summer. Tomorrow, my band and I have a going away show before we leave for tour. The days following tomorrow will consist of playing shows in NJ, VT, PA & CT. I’m really excited to play in different cities and see what the road has in store for me. This is all I’ve ever wanted.
Cor
I feel really guilty that I haven’t written on here in a few days. It has totally been in the back of my mind, eating at me. The past couple of days have been sort of crazy. It’s a tough balance to get a day in the studio with one of the guys and then try to not break any social commitments. I just graduated high school, so, of course, everyone’s having graduation parties. But I’m finding myself calling early nights more often. Maybe I’m subconsciously disciplining myself. One eventful thing did happen a few days ago that I thought would be fun to write on here.
After Romano & I were done recording some bass tracks last Wednesday, I met up with Ross. We drove around Long Island and met up with some friends, made our rounds and what not. By 2 AM, we found ourselves on Montauk Highway in West Islip, NY passing our old high school. We pulled into the parking lot and scoped out the scene for a while, talked about if we missed it, what did we miss, do you wish you could go back?, etc. From the parking lot, Ross took a sharp turn back onto the highway, in what I thought would be the general direction of home, since it was getting pretty late. Instead, he took an unanswered turn onto the parkway ramp headed south towards the beaches. We found ourselves driving around by the beaches down by Robert Moses’ beaches, pushing his car to 100+ MPH over the bridges with the top down, hair soaked in wind. On the way home, or the way in which we thought was going to bring us home, Ross let me drive. I started taking detours through different highways, ya know, the scenic route home. We reached main street in East Islip a short while later. We both agreed that our dear friend Kristie deserved a 3 AM visit from her two favorite boys. Driving down the cross street, Ross gazed out the passenger seat window and ordered me to pull over and stop. There was this house which had its front lawn “decorated”, if you will, with piles and mountains of just - stuff. Dressers, tables, books, garbage cans, mirrors, bedroom furniture, clothes, magazines, household appliances, among many other things. Ross stepped out of the car to check it out, while I did a once around the block. I pull back up to scoop Ross some thirty to forty seconds later, and there is a silver mini-van pulled up next to him. I can see that they are exchanging conversation and Ross has a smile on his face. I pull up to him and asked what was up. Ross said “I don’t know, this guy has me mistaken for the person who made this mess. He says the cops are looking for me.” Ross got back in the car and I continued to travel down the street, a little more nervous than before, towards Kristie’s housing development. The gentleman in the van immediately turned on his high-beams and proceeded to follow us down the long road. When I accelerated, so did he. Eventually I made a quick turn onto Kristie’s block, attempting to lose him. It was official: I was driving the getaway car. We ducked into Kristie’s driveway, turned the car and its lights off and began to laugh pretty heartily. Suddenly, the van stopped at the top of Kristie’s block. Surprisingly, he didn’t turn down the street to scope for us. Ross has a car that can be easily distinguished from others: A white 1988 Mercedes 560 SL convertible. Still, the van searched no further for us. Kristie came out of her house, reluctantly awoken. She heard the story and proceeded to rant about how this kind of stuff only happens to Ross & I - which has a lot of truth to it. Within a few minutes of hanging out on the roof of Ross’ car, a squad car with it’s spotlight on was patrolling Kristie’s neighborhood. Me a.k.a “chicken” ran behind Kristie’s garage behind several garbage cans, while Ross sat on the hood of his car - unafraid of anything. I knew we didn’t do anything wrong, it was very well obvious. I guess it was just the thrill of feeling like a vigilante on the run - even if for a little bit. The cop did a lap around Kristie’s block, shining the patrol car’s spotlight on pretty much whatever. He shined it directly on Ross but continued to drive, thus leaving us for good. No trouble ever did happen in the end. Ross & I wonder what ever did happen to that gentleman in the silver mini-van, or as I like to call him “Mini-van Dan”. Or as Ross likes to call him, “John Wayne”. However, we do have some theories to what exactly this guy’s deal was. Theory 1: He was kicked out of the police academy and his current goal is to prove to the boys in blue that he is still worth something. Theory 2: He was an extra on an episode of Law & Order and had that one ‘good line". He is still living in the past to this day. Any other theories? Let me know.
Aside from that, the band & I have been trying to settle how things will work on this tour. Valet Parking has told us that they won’t be able to come on the road with us since Chris Capuano left the band just a few weeks ago. That put a damper on a lot of things. My band is a young band. We have a local following that takes many bands sometimes years to acquire. Yet we don’t have a lot of money. I put in for a t-shirt order that is going to cost about $475. I counted the band’s cashbox and we have $521. We have virtually no money for tour. With no van and little money, we may have to resort to playing venues with three acoustic guitars and a small percussion instrument. It does take away from the live performance aspect, but at least we’re traveling. I’m getting together with the guys tonight to finalize what we plan on doing. I’m hoping for the best. Wish me luck.
Cor
Current song: “Walking Contradiction” - Green Day
A couple nights ago, Ross and I made some new friends. Brittany and Raquel are two lovely and adorable twin sisters from Rockville Centre. They invited us over their house last night for some good times, some laughs, and some hot tub fun. After departing from them around 2 am, we decided it would be best fit to stop by and visit our old friend Mitchell who lives just a few blocks over from their house. The three of us wound up driving around Nassau County in search of N. Massapequa’s “Satanic House”. We found it - eventually. After many hours of aimless driving, music and laughs, we called it a night. I returned to the Balsamo Castle (huh?) around 5 am. I only got in a good three to four hours of sleep considering I had a 9:15 doctor’s appointment this morning where I was then administered a Hepatitis A shot, thus putting me right back to sleep for a good five hours upon returning home. I woke up around 2:45 and called up Mike Romano. We were scheduled to head over to the studio in Farmingdale to lay down some bass tracks for some new songs. We banged it out in just a couple of hours, with time to spare. I met up later with Mike Curley and Andy. It was nice of us to all finally catch up for the first time in a couple days. Curley, Andy and I went out for a long drive to Rockville Centre to pick up tickets for our upcoming shows at the Vibe Lounge (August 5th & August 14th). On the ride home, Mike found a blank CD in Andy’s car simple titled “Andrew”. I would have my foot in my mouth in a couple of seconds. I boldly stated that there was probably some awful dross on there. The first track: “September” - Corey Balsamo. It wound up being a real good laugh. It was nice listening to songs from the old EP and seeing how I’ve grown/developed/changed as an artist. It put me in a real good mood. It made me really pumped for this tour coming up. I can’t wait to spend days on end with these guys, traveling and pouring my heart out on stage - every night. Ross is coming, too. :) I got home around 9:30 and changed my clothes. Ross picked me up and we drove out to Freeport, where we are now, sitting in Mitchell’s basement, drinking green tea and listening to good tunes. They’re both very upset that I’ve never seen “The Three Amigos”. Oh well.
Cor
Today was a fun day. I was woken by a phone call from Ross, which, may I add, is unusual. He’s usually the one sleeping in. But today was a very different day. Today, Warped Tour came to Long Island. After hanging up, Ross was over in a matter of minutes. It almost felt like deja vu, in a funny way. Rewind to yesterday morning. I wake up a little past noon at Cody’s. I run around his house screaming, trying to wake up Ross, saying “Dude, c'mon, we gotta get to Warped Tour!” I get on the phone with Andy and very bluntly, but kindly, he says “Dude, Warped is tomorrow.” But, I digress. Ross and I jumped in the car this morning around 10 AM and picked up Pete, the drummer from my old band. Along the way, we scooped a few more friends. (Carpool, kids! In this economy, you’ll save gas and the environment!) Northern State was a breeze to drive on, but nearing the exit to Nassau Coliseum on the Meadowbrook Parkway, in traffic we sat. And sat. ……And sat. Eventually, Pete and the gang got out and walked along the highway to the Coliseum, leaving Ross and I to sit for another twenty minutes, inching off the ramp and into the parking lot.
The sun was at high noon by the time we parked the car. I am a very fair skinned person, so after the past couple days at the beach, hanging poolside and now this, my milky complexion had turned the reddest red. I could sit here and go on and on about bands, but if you’ve ever been to Warped Tour, you just know. There are so many stages. And some many tents. Just so much to do! Where to begin?! I first stopped off at the Rock For Health tent to see Kristina Grossman. She is an amazing person who does amazing things for bands. A beautiful Northeastern graduate in her early twenties who uses her organization to provide health coverage and many other medical necessities to musicians on the road. Great cause! I had the pleasure of meeting her at Jason Aron’s (Boys Like Girls, We The Kings) house last week after the Hey Monday / Stereo Skyline show and I wound up talking to her for quite a while about what she does.
The rest of the day consisted of gallivanting in the hot, summer sun and seeing many bands such as 3OH!3, Streetlight Manifesto, Saosin, Attack Attack!, Anti-Flag, my Long Island homeboys Score 24 and Set In Color, and my personal favorite - A Day To Remember. It’s fun to get back into this music every now and then. I feel like I left this scene three years ago but I still have roots in this music and this festival. Granted, the genre of music I write does not suite the Warped Tour feel, but I still go every year. And I will continue to go back. Every year.
Bedtime. G'night.
Cor
So, for about six months, I had this melody stuck in my head. Literally planted there. And for those six months, to my dismay, I had a horrible case of lyrical writer’s block. Even so, this melody stuck with me. For months and months, I tried to drain lyrics from my dry mind. I got so low and down on myself. I felt like a worthless songwriter. I was, more or less, forcing lyrics out. They had lack of substance and I knew this song needed to be something big and powerful, but most importantly genuine and heartfelt. The feel to this song was so epic. I could have played it in my head a million times and would have never gotten sick of it. It was just too good to pass up. I racked my brain for days asking myself, “What am I going to write this song about?” Then one day last week, it all just came to me.
Several months ago, I fell out of love and found myself dangling at the end of a very long and drawn out relationship that should have ended many months before it actually did. It hurts and it sucks to have to be in that certain position in your life where you cannot even be in the same public vicinity with one particular person that you were once so close to and loved so much because of something that is/was never just one person’s fault. Regardless if the dispute was just between friends or more than that. In my case, it was a romantic relationship. We were both young, immature, stupid and we both got hurt. There’s no doubt about that. Yet, this new song doesn’t necessarily have to do with my past relationship. It is more of a telling of the position I was at in my life during this time, not so long ago, when I felt as if I could never even begin to feel again for someone in that particular way. To my surprise, I met someone. We had a short fling for about a month and it is now over. That doesn’t tear me up inside, though. She is a great person and we had some fun times, without anyone getting hurt. We are still good friends and continue to keep it that way, with no complications. The decision was made to try and not complicate things in the first place, which would avoid risking anyone’s feelings in the event that things would go awry.
I did not write this song about a girl. I wrote this song about me. And for me. It is about my first experience/experiment with love after I felt my heart had been put in a blender and turned on the fastest, most violent spin-mode. I don’t say it in the actual lyrics, but to me this song is that hope that I needed to get back up and keep on keepin’ on. It is currently untitled and it’s going to stay that way until something hits me. I’m so proud to call it mine.
Okay. I’m sick of typing. I’m really starting to enjoy this blogging stuff. :)
Cor
It is a glorious, beautiful day here in New York and I want nothing more than to just lounge by my pool with Ross and some good friends - and that is exactly what I’m doing. Last night, I went to this party with a few good friends. My friend Mark a.k.a “Mar-cuss” had a mid-party performance. I’m never too swoon by new age rap, but he was phenomenal. Not the typical. Very pleasing. As for now, I plan on doing a whole lot of nothing. Amy, Julianna, Christiana, Ross and I are going to lounge by my pool. I live for days like this.
Cor
It seems to me that the fight for the first line is always the hardest when it comes to writing these things. I never really gave blogging sites a second thought until I found my self reading through Jerry’s (everydayjerry.tumblr.com) posts a little while ago. I thought to myself, “Yeah, I can do that,” simply forgetting my lack of computer efficiency mixed with my low frustration level. Either way, this seems like a really cool way to reach out to people. I want to make it clear that after I graduated high school I became many things - including a free man, a beach bum, a registered Freshman at Purchase College - but most importantly a full time musician. I released my EP four months ago and since then, things have really taken off. For such young musicians, my band and I have had some great opportunities handed to us, many which we took and are currently excited to be following up on. We’ve opened up for some big names, played many shows (sometimes more than we could ask for), among many other things. My main point is that this blog is going to be directed towards my life now as a full-time musician. Not my personal life. I’ve recently quit my job and I’m ready to “carpe the diem”, as my friend Ross would say. Go big or go home! Do Work! ..And all that other stuff. So yeah, I’m no pro at blogging - yet. Hopefully I will be. The title is nothing mysterious. Just lyrics from the song I was listening to at the moment I started writing this. Mike’s coming over now to talk “band stuff”. T-shirts are going in TODAY!! I promise. I’ve been procrastinating on this too much. Tour starts in two weeks. Exciting times ahead, my friends, exciting times.
Cor